Jitterbug, Cell Phone for Seniors

First, I'm amazed I could find this on YouTube. Who the hell would want to watch this of their own free will? I bet I've unconsciously seen this ad about 50 times, but until my roommate pointed it out during Law & Order last night, I've never been aware that I'm watching it. Something about the music, the graphics, the whole treatment, tells my brain, "you can think about something else now, this doesn't concern you." This revolutionary phone, designed especially for old folks, promises: "Bigger buttons, bigger numbers." And, "You don't need a 400-page manual to use it." How simple is Jitterbug? One version of the phone comes with only three options:


It would be hard for even the most technology-ignorant old person to be confused by that. I am a bit concerned though, as at the end it offers a free car phone charger with purchase. If you need a phone with only three options because you can't figure out a normal cell phone, you shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle. They're slightly more complicated and entirely more dangerous than a mobile phone.

A third version of the phone has an ASSIST button, which when pressed slowly administers lethal medication to the user, allowing them to peacefully slip away during conversation. If you happen to accidentally press the button, you're in luck, you can use your Jitterbug to call 911 or the operator for help. Or you can call home to say goodbye.

It's difficult to grade this, as I think it's probably doing it's job: turning off the brains of young consumers and singing its way into the hearts of our elderly. But because I've noticed it and I'll now be tortured by it during my many hours watching Law & Order, and because I think advertising takes advantages of the impressionable and feeble minds of our elders, F.

The Hawk:
I'm neither here nor there on this one. It's an informational ad the describes the product well and I do like that "Jitterbug" jingle in the background. All-in-all it just exists, so it gets a C. Average.

Jack Link's Beef Jerk -- Messin' With Sasquatch

A+. Pure genius! The campaign takes the "Messin' With Sasquatch" theme, and features outdoorsman/pranksters playing classic gags on Sasquatch. A great tag line and concept, with hilarious execution. I love these ads and laugh every time I see them. The only problem is that while I knew they were for beef jerky, I didn't necessarily know which brand, although I may have recognized the bag subconsciously since it is always prominently featured. Either way, I had never heard of Jack's Links before, and now I have, so that counts for something. They want all out, creating a website full of content, placing interactive ads on various websites that allowed you to mess with Sasquatch too, etc. It has become a true viral campaign, notching huge view counts on YouTube and people posting their own versions of the ads. Now, on to the show...



I think this one is my favorite. The guys get Sasquatch and just when they think they're safe... BOOM! You can't outrun Sasquatch! The hit at the end is awesome.

The Mouth: When this campaign first started, they didn't have Sasquatch getting the guys at the end; it left you feeling kind of sad. It's not fair teaming up on an unsuspecting Sasquatch like that. But once he started getting even, these went from average to great.



I had not seen this one before the review. Funny. I love how at the end, all Sasquatch wanted was a ride in the car and he leaves the driver unharmed.

The Mouth: I actually prefer the TV version, where Sasquatch never gets in the car. Once he gets in, he comes across as more beastly and intimidating, where before he was just lovable.



Ah, yes, the old "watch reflection in the eyes" trick. And who knew Sasquatch had such an accurate arm? Baseball? Football? The possibilities are endless.

The Mouth: This is the only reason I wear a watch.



I didn't like this one quite as much... but damn, there's Sasquatch showcasing that arm again!

The Mouth: Starting fires in the forest is not a joke. And watching some guy get hot, wet shit splattered on his face does not make me want to eat beef jerky.



This one is internet-only, probably due a man's arm getting ripped off. The part at the beginning with Sasquatch playing with a butterfly, really makes this one. He's just a kind, peace-loving fella... until you mess with him!

The Mouth: It's less fun when I agree with my associate, but he's pretty accurate here. Watching Sasquatch smash, throw and rip apart humans just makes you feel good. Does it make you eat or buy beef jerky? Not really. Road trips do that. A-.

Vitamin Water, Try It

After talking to a friend last night, I was all set to come in and rip the Vitamin Water campaign. I remember not really liking it when I saw it, then when we realized the tag line was "try it," I was prepared to shit all over it. But today I watched them again and thought about what Vitamin Water was trying to accomplish: breaking into a Gatorade dominated market with a new product. And while I don't love the 50-Cent orchestra ad and kind of despise the Urlacher badminton one, I had never seen this:



I'm not all that familiar with Kelly Clarkston and normally wouldn't care, but that host cracks me up. "A cobra! Super rock and roll!" I had also never seen this one:



And the idea of athletes and stars trying something new kind of ties in with you, the consumer, trying something new (Vitamin Water). So "Try It" is not quite as weak as my pint-fueled discussion had led me to believe. Still, drinking Vitamin Water doesn't cause you to try or be better at new things, as the spots tend to imply. They would work better if the athlete randomly decided to try the new sport and also to try Vitamin Water. So I guess a B? B-.

The Hawk:

I'm a Hip-Hop and basketball fan, and wouldn't you know it, I like the T-Mac and 50 ads. The first time I saw McGrady in a kilt I was thinking: "Huh?", but then I realized he has a Scottish last name! Ha. As for the 50 Cent orchestra, while "old white man says Hip-Hop slang" is a major joke-in-a-can, sometimes it can be a little funny. Mostly I like that beat performed by an orchestra. Bottom line, these two probably appealed to the desired demographic, so maybe Kelly Clarkson's spot did too. These spots are all original, grab your attention and get the point across. B. Here's the 50 Cent ad:

AT&T, BlackJack Valentine's Day Rap: F-

I'm not even sure that if I could find this commercial online I would post it. Because that would mean I'd have to watch it again. It's basically a guy rapping to camera about his girlfriend, presumably recording it and sending it to her via his cell phone for Valentine's Day. I literally have to change the channel when this comes on, for fear of being consumed by a rabid fury that results in me smashing my television with a pitching wedge. That's bad for the tv and for the wedge, both of which are very special to me.


Let me just say this: if you're thinking of getting your girlfriend a phone with video capabilities for Valentine's Day, good for you. Electronics are awesome. If you're thinking of using your phone to send her new phone a video of you, the whitest man in America, doing the worst rap known to man, please stop and think again.

The worst part is that somewhere along the way this received the approval of a whole team of "advertising professionals." Not only in concept form, but even after they saw the shockingly terrible finished product. Sometimes you need to self censor a bit; someone has to have the stones needed to step up and say you know what, we liked the idea, but you all see this, it sucks. We can't put this on tv. They seem to have forgotten rule number one of advertising: avoid ads that will make the consumer HATE your product. This has done that for me.

Furthermore, I went to the AT&T site to try and find whatever promotion this is (so I'd have some sort of image to accompany this post) and I couldn't find anything. No Valentine's Day promotion at all. So even if this commercial wasn't shotgun-eatingly bad, consumers can't follow up and actually take advantage of the promotion.

F-. The worst.


The Hawk:
Yo, Mouth, why you trippin', home skillet? This is that new hot fire on the streets, playa-toni, pepperoni! Hotter than paprika!

Yes, horrible. Although something deep inside me says there is still a segment of society out there that laughs and likes this. I'll even admit I think the paprika line is funny. D+.

UPS, Whiteboard Campaign

Not everyone likes this campaign. I think most of the dislike comes from not liking the guy who does the drawings. Sure, he's a little smarmy, kind of a douche and has a Richard Lewis haircut, but I don't mind him. Before, I didn't really notice him. I'm mesmerized by his drawings and the way he turns things into other things by adding and erasing lines. The campaign is incredibly recognizable, somewhat entertaining and delivers the UPS message in such a simple manner that even the idiot in charge of your mail room can understand it.

Moreover, it has sparked an avalanche of video spoofs on YouTube. Among them, there are videos covering such subjects as mail order brides, getting rid of the body, monkey sex, and two girls one cup. If imitation in the highest form of flattery, what is parody?

It's almost enough to make me stop thinking of a log of shit when I hear "what can brown do for you?" B+.

The Hawk: Ruuuuuuuuuuuun! Hide the women and children! LITERALLY. You know why this guy thinks sending a bigger shipment is great? Because he can fit more children in the truck to molest. This guy gives me the creeps. And they include the actual squeaking sounds of the marker? A lot of people HATE that sound -- never a positive in advertising. I guess the "viralness" of it all does have some merit, so I can't flunk it. D+.

Chevy Malibu, Car You Can't Ignore: D

Chevy was brave to admit that they'd been making a completely irrelevant car for the last ten years. You can almost guarantee that every Malibu you see on the road is a rental, because no one would ever buy such a bland car, especially when you give it a fruity name like "Malibu." So kudos for taking your car's ignorability head on. That saves this from the F I would normally give anything associated with the Malibu. The very least you could do is give it a better name. That should have been your first step. What, were you scared you'd lose your loyal Malibu fan base? I assure you, those five people won't hurt your sales.



In this, they claim that "The Chevy brand is on the ascendancy, with Malibu to lead the renaissance." Who claims that? Wards AutoWorld, which I have never heard of. If Chevy has indeed chosen the Malibu as their beacon of change, it's a terrible blunder. Even though the look of the car seems much improved, it's still the MALIBU. No one wants to buy a car called the Malibu. Might as well call it the Chevy Pink Pony. Or the Chevy Tulip Tickle. I'm pretty sure I can ignore this car.

The Hawk:
Really? Cops running past a car into a bank heist? REALLY? That's just stupid. The second spot is just your typical, run-of-the-mill, car commercial that you CAN ignore. Boring. They would get a C, but the stupidity of the bank heist ad pushes them down to D.

Southwest -- Wanna Get Away? -- Broken TV

Hilarious concept. With the rising popularity of gaming systems with motion sensors, this ad probably hits home with the younger demographic. I still laugh at it if I haven't seen it in awhile. One major problem though... I've seen this countless times and have probably had conversations with friends about it... but I had no recollection of it being for Southwest! Maybe that makes me an idiot. Well, America has a lot of idiots. B-.

The Mouth:

You just about nailed it. I laugh every time I see him whip that controller at the tv. Every time. Then I think the following things: What kind of controller is that? Nintendo 64? Would an LCD screen really shatter like that? I've never seen one shatter in real life. I sort of miss the whole Southwest message while I'm thinking those things, thus I thought this might have been a Best Buy commercial. Okay, B-.

Boost Mobile, Anthem 2.0

Sorry, this one just isn't for me. First, what's the point of it? That these guys use Boost Mobile? That's they're successful and therefore are authorities on cool phones? Granted, I'm probably not the target audience, but I like hip-hop. And who is that third person? A man or a woman? What? I don't really like any of the people in this or the song. I officially hate "now I'm at the tippy." D.

The Hawk:
The Mouth needs to recognize and realize on this one. Jermaine Dupri and Young Jeezy are southern Hip-Hop institutions. This ad plays just like a music video, and honestly the beat and lyrics are good enough to rock it as a song, until... whatever that thing at the end is, happens. Mickey Avalon, I guess? Horrid. Cringe-worthy. Ruins the whole commercial. It's a classic case of ad guys not knowing shit about Hip-Hop. The culture has so many applications to advertising, but rarely is it utilized well. From A to D, just like that. Our paths are vastly different, but I to arrive at D for this one.


I guess it was supposed to be the follow up to this one, but with slick effects and supers trying to fill the void between star and song quality:



This I liked, although I wouldn't have been able to tell you which company it was for. They went from Kanye, Luda and Game to Dupri, Jeezy and Avalon? Talk about a drop in quality. At least this one showed the functionality, dudes talking coast to coast in real time, rhyming over a Kanye beat. And the song is actually good. And is that B Davis making an appearance in the background?! Or is it Black Thought...I'm not sure which is better, a commercial I don't like, but remember the company, or a commercial I do like but can't remember who it was for. A-.

The Hawk:
Just to reiterate: Avalon=drop in quality, Dupri and Jeezy do not. Jermaine Dupri is one of the most successful, versatile music men of all-time. With that out of the way... I love this one too. Great song, great stars, fits the Boost brand to a tee... and somehow, maybe subconsciously, I always realized whom this ad was repping. A+.

Update: After re-watching, I realized it was the incessant Boost chirp used throughout the ad that tipped me off to the brand. Nice placement.

T Mobile, Secret Lover: B

"Seeecret loovers, that's what we are."

I was singing that all night last night, so if we're grading for stuck-in-my-headedness this is a winner. However, I think the concept of Fav Five is dumb and would never, ever cause me to buy a phone or switch carriers. Unless Dwayne and Charles were in my top five.

The Hawk:

Love it. Great song, great "busted" moment... Fav Five is awesome... not really. I agree on B, but mine is a positive B, whereas The Mouth gave a negative B.

Jeep Liberty -- Rock Me Gently

This makes me absolutely cringe in terror. It's, like, sooooooooooooooo, totally, annoying. Dude. And you know what? I've seen this ad approximately 3.78 billion times, and guess what? I had NO clue what car it was advertising. Way to go Jeep. This is the type of ad that makes swear to NEVER buy from a company. In fact, anyone have Dr. Kevorkian's number? I need his "assistance"... F.

The Mouth:

My first reaction to seeing this ad was disgust. What a waste of advertising dollars from Jeep, a company with a product that has demanded some of the industry's best work. But for some reason, repeated viewing has softened me. Not to say that I like it, because I don't, at all. I have simply ceased thinking of this as a commercial and ceased noticing there's a car--or Jeep--in the ad. I simply hum along with the song, which is also pretty awful. I can't help it if my brain is easily tricked into liking things it sees over and over again.

This is one that slipped through the cracks at Jeep. Jeeps are meant to run animals over. I think a commercial featuring all of the animals in the commercial being run over would certainly be a step in the right direction.

D.

Where Kevin Garnett Happens

This might be the #1 spot from the campaign. It appeals to the "everyman" out there by showcasing one of the best aspects of sports -- it's melting pot effect. Sports, specifically the NBA in this case, can bring people together from all walks of life, and this ad showcases that scenario. In addition, this had to be very appealing to a specific NBA niche -- the Celtics fan. This commercial really tugs at my emotions. I love it. A+.

The Mouth:

No part of me disagrees with my associate here. For me, it's the song. An unexpected, fairly forgotten song that fits perfectly with the message. The only part that I don't like is that it's Boston. They took our Tom Brady. And now Detroit doesn't get KG? Still: A.

Where Kevin Durant Happens

Another great one. Excellent use of special effects and I like the music selection. This is the type of spot you want to watch over-and-over again, saying "How'd they do that?" and to see all the different jerseys. A commercial with Tivo factor is priceless. Of course, I'm an NBA fanatic, so maybe that's just me. A+.

THE MOUTH:

There's nothing I dislike about this spot, but it doesn't give me a boner like it does my repsected associate. Does he grow up at all? Do his arms get bigger? When he bulks up a little, look out. Also, I met him once and when he shook my hand he did it like I was a toddler and he was my lumberjack grandpa. Damn my not giant hands. B-.

Where Steve Nash Happens

Here is the Steve Nash spot from the NBA's "Where Amazing Happens" campaign. It cleverly uses the car's navigation lady to detail Steve Nash's path to success. A good idea by the NBA to use one of their most popular and marketable (meaning white) players. I love this one, although I can that it may fall under the "what the hell was that advertising?" category. B.

THE MOUTH:

I love Steve Nash, but I don't like this commercial much. I don't think using that navigation system to tell the story is all that clever--although it works with "where you have arrived happens." I hate that robot navigation voice in cars and this doesn't really do anything to diminish that. "You are now receiving your 2nd MVP" is possibly the worst line. The style is interesting, but doesn't seem to match the character of the NBA or the other spots in this campaign. C-.

NBA, Where Amazing Happens: A

"Where amazing happens." What a great, outstanding line. Something about it sounds wrong, which makes it all the more...amazing? A great example of how much you can do with a simple, true idea and great writing. Where never meant to happen happens. Where amazing happens. Where amazing happens. Where amazing happens! I love saying it. Say it with me. Where amazing happens.


The Hawk:

My first reaction to The Mouth liking this saying so much was negative at best. I thought it was too corny and cheesy. However, the more I think about it, it's not the tag line I don't like, it's this particular ad. It is too over the top with the piano music... almost a self-righteous type feel. I bet Mike Breen loves this one. The exploitation of the afro doesn't help my opinion, either. I much prefer the individual player ads that go along with this campaign. Continue reading the next few entries for the reviews of those...

C for this one.

Weight Watchers, Stop Dieting: B

I'm not sure what draws me to these. I'm not fat (although I am getting a small unattractive belly). I'm not planning to be fat. And when I do get fat, well, I'll most likely embrace my beautiful fatness. For some reason I like 'em. The lines aren't even that great; the other lines are barely worth mentioning. I guess I'm intrigued by the tagline and the overall idea.

Stop Dieting. Start Living.

Now, I haven't read the small type on any of these posters--maybe I'm not that interested--but I was under the impression that Weight Watchers was some sort of diet. I'm guessing they claim that watching your calorie intake, or eating healthier, is not necessarily a diet. In fact, their website brazenly states, "Weight Watchers works because it's not a diet." False. Wrong. Lie. Here is a common definintion of diet: To eat and drink according to a regulated system, especially so as to lose weight or control a medical condition. That could almost be the exact definition of Weight Watchers. A regulated system of eating to help you lose weight.

Getting my attention: success. Telling the truth: failure.

And now a word from The Hawk:

I haven't been honored by the presence of these ads, so I probably don't have enough information, but... they seem annoying. Intriguing though, I suppose. I'll take the cop out though, and go with C.

WSIB, There Are No Accidents: Rated Y for Yikes

The Ontario Workplace Safety and Insurance Board has really gone the extra mile to shock people into being conscious of safety on the job.



Oh shit! I didn't see that coming. That scream is disturbing. And showing her burned, blistering face? Subtle, really.



Dang. I didn't laugh at the other one, but when that lady falls, for some reason that cracks me up. Until I see her with all that glass in her face. Then I want to cry. If you're into this, you can go to prevent-it.ca for more. You sick bastard.

The Hawk:

That second one is HILARIOUS! I'm still laughing... and the first one is EXTREMELY disturbing. Hey, they both garner strong reactions and definitely get their point across. A-.

Monster.com, Legs: B+

By god, those legs are creepy. Otherwise, this is a nice big budget spot that tells a simple story. Great imagination and vision--the house, the town, the way people look at him. I think the line "there's a perfect job for everyone" is overkill; you'd have to be a complete moron to walk away from this without getting that. Especially when you have a great tag, which I think "your calling is calling" is.

The Hawk:

I like the story, etc., like the Mouth said. However, it's WAY too long before anything about Monster is mentioned. If you're with a group of people watching this, chances are when the brand is first mentioned, you're talking with those people about clever this is, and everyone misses it. Hit 'em early and often. C.

Bud Light, Talking Dog: A

I could do without the corny squirrel line at the end, but that dog saying "sausages" over and over again kills me. Dogs love sausages. After thinking about it though, they maybe borrowed from this classic:

Alltel Wireless, Terrible Campaign: F

I couldn't find the ad I just saw, but to sum it up: terrible. Not only do I hate each commercial in this campaign, but until I decided to review this should-have-been-aborted effort, I had no idea which company it was for. I knew it was mocking the other carriers, but since I had no idea who was doing the mocking, what's the point? Here's one I hate as much as any of the others:



I understand the concept; personify the other mobile phone companies as inept nerds, while casting yourself as the cool, hip, savior of the common person. The problem is, we don't know who you are. You spend half of your commercials talking about and "showing" your competitors, who, in my mind, are more evil, theiving bastards than bungling losers. And in my mind, Alltel doesn't even exist as an option. This campaign doesn't really help to change that. In my mind.

Old Spice, Manly Test: B

Since we seem to have gone on a slight Old Spice rating spree, here's another:



"I used to think it didn't matter what deodorant I chose. Dumb."

The writing is great and that knee-pad is a nice touch. The problem is, that man is a real man, which makes me feel like less of one. And I'm not sure Old Spice is going to change that. In somewhat related news, I did buy Old Spice body wash.

Chris Bosh, Vote For Me: A-

Somehow my associate failed to write about this after raving about it in his own blogs. Perhaps he forgot, or perhaps he doesn't consider it an ad. But an ad it is. "Best thing about it is, you think it's $20? No sir."



The fact that Bosh went out and made a YouTube video asking fans to vote for him is brilliant. There are some fan-made YouTube videos pleading for votes for their favorite players, but to my knowledge Bosh is the only one who went the extra mile, grabbed a camcorder, a cowboy hat and a faux redneck accent to garner votes. The mock used-car salesman act isn't quite perfect, but you have to appreciate the effort. He even gives a nod to his Canadian fans with a Boxing Day mention.

"Fillin out these ballots is easy as cow tipping. Ain't that right, Bubba?"

I feel like there's a little something missing (hence the A-), but I can't put my finger on it.

Ford Hybrid -- Jerk Dad

Hybrid SUV Commercial
Uploaded by maxsilvestri

I have a hard time watching this ad without getting completely furious. The dad is a COMPLETE jerk. Does he actually SEE or TALK to his family? In a normal family, if a new car is purchased, it's going to be news. "Hey guys, I bought a car today." "Oh yeah, what kind?" "One of those new Ford Hybrid SUV's". Why don't you act a little more sarcastic towards your daughter, jerk?

And also, is the girl so unobservant that she's never seen the big "Hybrid" label on the car?

On top of all that, as many times as I had seen this, I had no idea what type of car it was advertising.

F.

GoDaddy.com, Chad Johnson: A+

"As the world's #1 receiver, I wanna be with the world's #1 domain registrar"! A classic line. Chad Johnson is charismatic and actually pulls this off, although it does seem absurd that a millionaire NFL player has ever spent 1 minute working on his website. And pay attention to the great "Go Daddy!" jingle in the background.

A+.

Snickers, Road Trip: A+

Pilgrims and Vikings on a road trip together? Get it? Weird, quirky humor that those wily copywriters love, and this time it works. Hilarious and it makes me want a Snickers. A+.

Old Spice -- Ahoy

The 30-second TV version of this is a classic. I like this version too, just not as much. The TV version focuses in on 3 of the girls, one at a time. The first two say "Ahoy", but then the third just moves her head around in a provocative way, but says nothing! Love it. And it makes me think "Old Spice". Perfect. Although I can see how some people would this it was weird or dumb, and I don't like this version. So B+.

Old Spice -- Slide

Sooooo stupid it makes me angry. The only redeeming quality is that it makes me think of Old Spice... but in a negative way! No publicity is bad pubicity? D-

AT&T -- Get A Sven

This is a hilarious ad. I've seen it 10+ times and still lol at times... I love how he says "schedule". But here's the major problem: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ADVERTISING? Even after seeing this a few times with friends and talking about it after the fact, I said, "What is that an ad for?" Replies include a phone, Ebay, etc. No one said AT&T.

C+.

#1 Creativity's Most Viewed--Skittles, Touch: A

Already reviewed here.

I would have thought they'd find something more revolutionary or ground breaking. But this is a solid choice for #1, I guess.

#2 Creativity's Most Viewed--Cadbury, Gorilla: C-

It has to do with fine chocolates how?

Oh, it's a glass and a half full of joy.

No, not really. More like "a quarter cup of fairly amusing."

#3 Creativity's Most Viewed--Sony Bravia, Play-Doh: A

Already reviewed here.

I can't argue with them picking this one. I'll watch it over and over again.

#4 Creativity's Most Viewed--VW, Safety Dance: D

Compared to other VW ads, this just plain sucks. I don't really like the song, it doesn't make me think the car is that safe, and blah. Blah blah blah. You can see it on germancarblog.com, the only people who liked it enough to put it up. At this point, I'm really losing faith in the people at Creativity. This is your #4? Seriously? Awful.

And I know somewhere (I actually know exactly where) there's a creative director saying, "I had the idea to use that song in a spot years ago." But I won't give away his idea. Let's just say it wasn't much better or much worse than this.

#5 Creativity's Most Viewed--Dove, Onslaught: B-

The beauty industry telling mothers to talk to their daughters before the beauty industry does. Wait, so you're telling us to talk to them before you do? Aren't you talking to them as we speak, pumping out commercial after commercial? Your attempt to clear your conscience is to warn us that you're bombarding our children with unhealthy advertising? Come on. The message seems really hypocritical coming from Unilever; the same company that owns SlimFast, Pond's, Axe and Lynx. Are you kidding me? Lynx!?



(and this is a nice one from Axe Mexico)

After thinking about it, I don't like the ad's message either. Seems to me the beauty industry is the only one looking out for the future of our young women, trying to help them become sexy, beautiful, successful ladies--instead of fat, pimpled disgusting slobs. I don't know about you, but I'll take a slightly anorexic bitch over an obese hairy cow. Thank you beauty industry.

Sonic, Two Guys Campaign: A-

What a concept. Put two comedians in a car, give them a food topic and let 'em go. I don't know how scripted these are, but the fact that they come off as natural and improvised is great. The newest one I've seen, "turf and turf" is great--though I can't find it on YouTube. It's for a breakfast sandwich with two pork products (two of either ham, sausage or bacon) and he refers to it as the "turf and turf" because they're both on land. Simple, funny, memorable.

I did, however, take off some points because I wasn't sure Sonics actually existed. I'm not alone when I say I've never seen a Sonic in real life. I did a little research and found that the nearest Sonic is 63 miles from my house. And 135 miles from my parents' house in suburban Detroit. Why am I constantly seeing Sonic ads? Seems like wasted money, to run national ads when your establishment is over 100 miles from the target audience. The only way this makes sense is if there's a plan to open 10,000 Sonics over the next year, some of which are close to the places where I see their commercials. Should that be the case, this instantly becomes the world's greatest teaser campaign. Because if there was a Sonic near me, I'd try it simply because I like the ads.

But there's not; so I won't.



"unsad wet afternoon chunk."