Toyota Sequoia -- Big Wheel Race

The Mouth:
And the mongoose flies! Yes! Why is it so hard to do ads for family cars that make them seem cool? This ad begins to break the nauseating mold that most family car ads are cast from. Get some fresh music and show families tearing it up. Show 250 berserkers screaming down a hill on big wheels. Show that it's about more than getting from point A to point B, or keeping the kids quiet. We all know family cars are safe and we'll ask about that in the dealership, but we're still humans. We still want to feel like the $35,000 cars we're buying are cool. I would have loved for this to be for a minivan.

"Seats eight crazies." Indeed. A-.

Also, it's the perfect counterpart to the other Toyota Sequoia commercial, which I love.

The Hawk:

That's all well and good, too bad it's a rip-off of this CLASSIC H2 ad. I hate copycats. Big wheels are fun though, so I can't fail it, as much as I want to. C-.

Hyundai Genesis -- Fake-ass Mercedes

Shhhhhhhh, let's try and make our ads as quiet and ignorable as possible. We don't want to wake up anyone who might be sleeping during the Super Bowl. Nor would we want to interrupt their conversation about the game. I think people will respect us for being polite and tactful; that should translate into increased car sales. ERROR.



Hyundai Genesis -- Crazy Big Twist

First, ads that are self-aware of themselves always feel like a hack-job. So this already has that going against it. This ad barely even registered on my radar. More poignantly, no one who is shopping for a Mercedes is going to have Hyundai on their radar. Not even after 1000 soft-spoken, "think about it" commercials. And if you can't afford a Mercedes, do you really care that you can get a car that's "as spacious"? Is that really what luxury means to you? At least tell us it has the same engine, or safety features, or in dash nav system as the Mercedes. But then again, maybe all you can talk about and still be in the same ballpark is space. Congrats. Does it look and feel like a Lexus or Mercedes ad? Yeah. Was that the point? I think. Is that a good idea? No. D+.



Hyundai Genesis -- Aren't Gonna Like It

I'm pretty sure the USA Today Ad Meter is going to say this ad sucked. No one is going to remember it. And if they do, they'll probably think they saw an ad for BMW, Mercedes or Lexus. That's the problem with making your ad look like the ads of your competitor, then saying the names of said competitors in the same ad. People will think they saw an ad for your competitor. On the bright side, the car looks nice and I like that typing sound at the end when the words come up. D+.

The Hawk:
"Ooooooooooo!!! He dropped it on Mercedes head like that, son! Ish was deep, kid!" Who are they kidding? A Hyundai is Hyundai and a Mercedes is a Mercedes. If you can get Jay-Z to talk about his Hyundai, then you'll have my attention. Until then, stay in your lane, pun intended. F.

GMC -- Pushing Rock

The Mouth:
Do we really have to review this one? It's forty seconds of talking while we watch a simple black and white cartoon that barely moves. I know that as a writer, I should appreciate a spot like this. Quiet, with a well-written VO; but during the Super Bowl, all it gets is a big, fat yawn. F.

The Hawk:
Big, fat yawn is right. If more than 2% of viewers managed to sit through the beginning snooze fest, then I'd be amazed. The most egregious offense to me, is that it has the look, tone and feel of a financial/investment ad, and I HATE financial investment ads. F.

Chevy Malibu, Car You Can't Ignore: D

Chevy was brave to admit that they'd been making a completely irrelevant car for the last ten years. You can almost guarantee that every Malibu you see on the road is a rental, because no one would ever buy such a bland car, especially when you give it a fruity name like "Malibu." So kudos for taking your car's ignorability head on. That saves this from the F I would normally give anything associated with the Malibu. The very least you could do is give it a better name. That should have been your first step. What, were you scared you'd lose your loyal Malibu fan base? I assure you, those five people won't hurt your sales.



In this, they claim that "The Chevy brand is on the ascendancy, with Malibu to lead the renaissance." Who claims that? Wards AutoWorld, which I have never heard of. If Chevy has indeed chosen the Malibu as their beacon of change, it's a terrible blunder. Even though the look of the car seems much improved, it's still the MALIBU. No one wants to buy a car called the Malibu. Might as well call it the Chevy Pink Pony. Or the Chevy Tulip Tickle. I'm pretty sure I can ignore this car.

The Hawk:
Really? Cops running past a car into a bank heist? REALLY? That's just stupid. The second spot is just your typical, run-of-the-mill, car commercial that you CAN ignore. Boring. They would get a C, but the stupidity of the bank heist ad pushes them down to D.

Jeep Liberty -- Rock Me Gently

This makes me absolutely cringe in terror. It's, like, sooooooooooooooo, totally, annoying. Dude. And you know what? I've seen this ad approximately 3.78 billion times, and guess what? I had NO clue what car it was advertising. Way to go Jeep. This is the type of ad that makes swear to NEVER buy from a company. In fact, anyone have Dr. Kevorkian's number? I need his "assistance"... F.

The Mouth:

My first reaction to seeing this ad was disgust. What a waste of advertising dollars from Jeep, a company with a product that has demanded some of the industry's best work. But for some reason, repeated viewing has softened me. Not to say that I like it, because I don't, at all. I have simply ceased thinking of this as a commercial and ceased noticing there's a car--or Jeep--in the ad. I simply hum along with the song, which is also pretty awful. I can't help it if my brain is easily tricked into liking things it sees over and over again.

This is one that slipped through the cracks at Jeep. Jeeps are meant to run animals over. I think a commercial featuring all of the animals in the commercial being run over would certainly be a step in the right direction.

D.

Ford Hybrid -- Jerk Dad

Hybrid SUV Commercial
Uploaded by maxsilvestri

I have a hard time watching this ad without getting completely furious. The dad is a COMPLETE jerk. Does he actually SEE or TALK to his family? In a normal family, if a new car is purchased, it's going to be news. "Hey guys, I bought a car today." "Oh yeah, what kind?" "One of those new Ford Hybrid SUV's". Why don't you act a little more sarcastic towards your daughter, jerk?

And also, is the girl so unobservant that she's never seen the big "Hybrid" label on the car?

On top of all that, as many times as I had seen this, I had no idea what type of car it was advertising.

F.

#4 Creativity's Most Viewed--VW, Safety Dance: D

Compared to other VW ads, this just plain sucks. I don't really like the song, it doesn't make me think the car is that safe, and blah. Blah blah blah. You can see it on germancarblog.com, the only people who liked it enough to put it up. At this point, I'm really losing faith in the people at Creativity. This is your #4? Seriously? Awful.

And I know somewhere (I actually know exactly where) there's a creative director saying, "I had the idea to use that song in a spot years ago." But I won't give away his idea. Let's just say it wasn't much better or much worse than this.

VW, Sign Then Drive: A-

The idea for this spot is simple: Promotions for "sign AND drive" events are inherently dangerous. You shouldn't be signing anything while driving a car (though I'd wager we've all done far worse). Instead, you should sign THEN drive.

Volkswagen has a history of doing great commercials based on simple truths. And even though they've changed agencies, the feel of many of their spots remains true to the brand. This one is no different. The fact that I've worked on "sign and drive" ads and never thought of this makes it even more impressive to me. That's one great thing about advertising; we can all look at the same problem over and over again and keep finding different solutions that work.

Click here to watch it.

And then watch what happens when a dealership tries to do its own advertising:



Is there any way on God's green earth that this would make people want to buy a VW more than the original spot? Instead, I want to drive one into a wall at full speed; the feeling of bashing my skull apart on shatter-proof glass seems increasingly appealing. Why would you ever put that on youtube?

Merry Christmas.

Toyota, World Of Warcraft: B+

First, congrats to Toyota for doing anything involving World of Warcraft. I don't know much about it, except that it is some sort of online fantasy game for nerds. By recognizing that the world is filled with nerds--and that nerds also need trucks--Toyota taps into a previously untargeted market. This ad manages to speak directly to the nerds, and also subtly mock them. Subtle mocking...the best kind.

The concept was likely born from the infamous Leroy Jenkins video that was all the rage about four years ago. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.



Leeeeeeeroy Jeeeeenkins! Better.

Johnson Automotive and the Badger - A+

Regional car dealership Johnson Automotive struck gold with this campaign. The hilarious badger, created by The Martin Agency -- the same people who brought you the Geico cavemen and the gecko -- perfectly embodies everything unpleasant about the car-buying experience. The replay value of the spots guarantee brand-recognition. A great series... there are about 10 total, all available on youtube.