Planters Cashews -- Ugly Woman

The Mouth:
I thought this was cheap. Maybe I have a soft spot in my heart for ugly girls, but something about this didn't strike me as funny. Someone out there really looks like that. And I guarantee rubbing some nuts on their neck won't make them more attractive. Also, you know what doesn't make me want to eat nuts? Watching a horrific troll rub them all over herself. Yuck. D.

The Hawk:
Great execution... of a horrible idea! "Hey, I know, let's make everyone want to puke when they think of our food product!". Genius! This might have been the worst ad of the night. And does the brand of nuts even matter? Aren't nuts just nuts? F-.

Vitamin Water, Try It

After talking to a friend last night, I was all set to come in and rip the Vitamin Water campaign. I remember not really liking it when I saw it, then when we realized the tag line was "try it," I was prepared to shit all over it. But today I watched them again and thought about what Vitamin Water was trying to accomplish: breaking into a Gatorade dominated market with a new product. And while I don't love the 50-Cent orchestra ad and kind of despise the Urlacher badminton one, I had never seen this:



I'm not all that familiar with Kelly Clarkston and normally wouldn't care, but that host cracks me up. "A cobra! Super rock and roll!" I had also never seen this one:



And the idea of athletes and stars trying something new kind of ties in with you, the consumer, trying something new (Vitamin Water). So "Try It" is not quite as weak as my pint-fueled discussion had led me to believe. Still, drinking Vitamin Water doesn't cause you to try or be better at new things, as the spots tend to imply. They would work better if the athlete randomly decided to try the new sport and also to try Vitamin Water. So I guess a B? B-.

The Hawk:

I'm a Hip-Hop and basketball fan, and wouldn't you know it, I like the T-Mac and 50 ads. The first time I saw McGrady in a kilt I was thinking: "Huh?", but then I realized he has a Scottish last name! Ha. As for the 50 Cent orchestra, while "old white man says Hip-Hop slang" is a major joke-in-a-can, sometimes it can be a little funny. Mostly I like that beat performed by an orchestra. Bottom line, these two probably appealed to the desired demographic, so maybe Kelly Clarkson's spot did too. These spots are all original, grab your attention and get the point across. B. Here's the 50 Cent ad:

Snickers, Road Trip: A+

Pilgrims and Vikings on a road trip together? Get it? Weird, quirky humor that those wily copywriters love, and this time it works. Hilarious and it makes me want a Snickers. A+.

#2 Creativity's Most Viewed--Cadbury, Gorilla: C-

It has to do with fine chocolates how?

Oh, it's a glass and a half full of joy.

No, not really. More like "a quarter cup of fairly amusing."

Sonic, Two Guys Campaign: A-

What a concept. Put two comedians in a car, give them a food topic and let 'em go. I don't know how scripted these are, but the fact that they come off as natural and improvised is great. The newest one I've seen, "turf and turf" is great--though I can't find it on YouTube. It's for a breakfast sandwich with two pork products (two of either ham, sausage or bacon) and he refers to it as the "turf and turf" because they're both on land. Simple, funny, memorable.

I did, however, take off some points because I wasn't sure Sonics actually existed. I'm not alone when I say I've never seen a Sonic in real life. I did a little research and found that the nearest Sonic is 63 miles from my house. And 135 miles from my parents' house in suburban Detroit. Why am I constantly seeing Sonic ads? Seems like wasted money, to run national ads when your establishment is over 100 miles from the target audience. The only way this makes sense is if there's a plan to open 10,000 Sonics over the next year, some of which are close to the places where I see their commercials. Should that be the case, this instantly becomes the world's greatest teaser campaign. Because if there was a Sonic near me, I'd try it simply because I like the ads.

But there's not; so I won't.



"unsad wet afternoon chunk."

Skittles, Baby Bird: B

"Quack, quack."

Skittles, Leak: B-

I can't explain why I don't love this one. A grown man takes a little man out of a bag and hangs him from the ceiling to eat Skittles. The concept is good, but the only truly funny part is the dialogue at the end...

OWNER: That's how you fix it?
REPAIRMAN: That's how we fix it. That's it. (everyone laughs)

Skittles, Singing Rabbit: B+

Skittles sometimes strays from the :30 and :60 format and releases :45 second cuts of their commercials. In this case, it's perfect. 45 seconds of that strange and terrible singing is enough to let you know why he thought the trade was a mistake. The scene where he's sitting in his room in the dark, listening, makes the spot. But then they show a close up of the rabbit. Dumb. I hate animatronic talking animals (unless they're way over the top fake). And the ending is pretty poor. It would have been better if he had turned quietly away and started walking home with the singing rabbit, accepting his terrible fate. Or if he had thrown the rabbit in a dumpster.

Skittles, Beard: B+

The part when he feeds her the Skittle with his beard makes this one an instant winner. So gentle. So tender. The fact that it ranks slightly high on the creepy scale keeps it from being in the A range.

"Experience. Hahahaha oh, funny."

Skittles, Midas Touch: A

"I met a man on the bus today, I shook his hand. He'll never see his family again. I guess that's pretty awesome."

When he goes to answer the phone, then bangs on his desk...classic.

Skittles, Sheep Boy: A

"You two sheep boys, stop that that jibber-jabbin."

This one makes me laugh, without making me want to vomit.

#10 Creativity's Most Viewed--Skittles, Stable: D+

Creativity Magazine is rolling out their ten most viewed ads of 2007. We'll be rating each as it comes out. Number 10 on the list was the Skittles "Stable" spot:



Generally, I love Skittles advertising. They some up with some of the strangest shit you'll ever see and somehow make it relevant to candy. But this one, though funny, is just too strange. Skittles are a food. You put them in your mouth, so in my opinion, the advertising should not make you feel sick to your stomach. While the acting is good and the spot is funny overall, that machine suckling away at that old man's bare chest is terrible. I have the same reaction to that as to someone sticking their finger in my belly button...nausea. Not what you want people to feel when they think about your food.

Lifesavers, Muffin Top: B+

"Do you know what a muffin top means?"

Visually defining the term "muffin top" without having to spell out why it's funny is the brilliant part of this spot. We've all seen them. Sometimes they're unattractive; but there's something strangely compelling about a girl squeezing into jeans that don't quite fit. That soft little roll squishing out from the tight suffocating denim. I want to pinch it, bite it, chew on it.

Overall, I don't know that it makes me want Lifesavers, and I barely even buy "it's good to be sweet." But muffin tops are great.

And the guy is tying fly lures? Huh.