Fatheads, Brian Urlacher: A

I like absolutely everything about this commercial. The old Walt Disney-looking narrator, the presumption that a grown man would actually put a giant sticker on the wall in his office, a violent fire breathing bear, and the writing in the final segment; it's like sweet poetry.

"...plucked from the playing field, like ripened fruit that can smack you in your earhole..."

It almost makes me forget that this is a totally worthless product made for retards.