Dentyne Ice -- Frog Ad: F

I hate this ad more and more every time I see it. I can't explain exactly why I hate it, but I do. A lot. I mostly hate the CGI prince and princess. And the fact that food and candy marketing experts think that this is the kind of worthless trash that will make me buy their product. Unfortunately, this is the exact kind of gum I chew. That fact makes me feel slightly ashamed. F.

The Hawk:
I like it and I chew it. The spot does a good job of showing the product, it has enjoyable music and excellent visuals (unless you hate the CGI prince, I guess!) that fit the overall "Ice" feel. B-.

Gum -- Carmen Electra

The Mouth:
Wait, so "whoa" was the word? Huh? Not even the hotness of Carmen Electra could save this terrible ad. Is there some rule about gum ads that they have to be corny and awful? Can someone please make a good fresh mouth gum ad? (well, Orbit might actually be doing this)

Here's how this should have went. Every fan who comes up to her has bad breath and gets their clock cleaned by the bodyguards in a different way; taser, running double-leg jump kick to the chest, A NET GUN! Then, one smart fan chews the gum before approaching; she says "whoa" and we cut to a scene of her and Emmanuelle Chriqui all oiled up, rolling around on a bed of mint gum tablets. Whoa. D-.

The Hawk:
One question and one question only: How does Ice Cube not get this contract? C- (only on the strength of Carmen being hot).

Snickers, Road Trip: A+

Pilgrims and Vikings on a road trip together? Get it? Weird, quirky humor that those wily copywriters love, and this time it works. Hilarious and it makes me want a Snickers. A+.

#2 Creativity's Most Viewed--Cadbury, Gorilla: C-

It has to do with fine chocolates how?

Oh, it's a glass and a half full of joy.

No, not really. More like "a quarter cup of fairly amusing."

Skittles, Baby Bird: B

"Quack, quack."

Skittles, Leak: B-

I can't explain why I don't love this one. A grown man takes a little man out of a bag and hangs him from the ceiling to eat Skittles. The concept is good, but the only truly funny part is the dialogue at the end...

OWNER: That's how you fix it?
REPAIRMAN: That's how we fix it. That's it. (everyone laughs)

Skittles, Singing Rabbit: B+

Skittles sometimes strays from the :30 and :60 format and releases :45 second cuts of their commercials. In this case, it's perfect. 45 seconds of that strange and terrible singing is enough to let you know why he thought the trade was a mistake. The scene where he's sitting in his room in the dark, listening, makes the spot. But then they show a close up of the rabbit. Dumb. I hate animatronic talking animals (unless they're way over the top fake). And the ending is pretty poor. It would have been better if he had turned quietly away and started walking home with the singing rabbit, accepting his terrible fate. Or if he had thrown the rabbit in a dumpster.

Skittles, Beard: B+

The part when he feeds her the Skittle with his beard makes this one an instant winner. So gentle. So tender. The fact that it ranks slightly high on the creepy scale keeps it from being in the A range.

"Experience. Hahahaha oh, funny."

Skittles, Midas Touch: A

"I met a man on the bus today, I shook his hand. He'll never see his family again. I guess that's pretty awesome."

When he goes to answer the phone, then bangs on his desk...classic.

Skittles, Sheep Boy: A

"You two sheep boys, stop that that jibber-jabbin."

This one makes me laugh, without making me want to vomit.

#10 Creativity's Most Viewed--Skittles, Stable: D+

Creativity Magazine is rolling out their ten most viewed ads of 2007. We'll be rating each as it comes out. Number 10 on the list was the Skittles "Stable" spot:



Generally, I love Skittles advertising. They some up with some of the strangest shit you'll ever see and somehow make it relevant to candy. But this one, though funny, is just too strange. Skittles are a food. You put them in your mouth, so in my opinion, the advertising should not make you feel sick to your stomach. While the acting is good and the spot is funny overall, that machine suckling away at that old man's bare chest is terrible. I have the same reaction to that as to someone sticking their finger in my belly button...nausea. Not what you want people to feel when they think about your food.

Lifesavers, Muffin Top: B+

"Do you know what a muffin top means?"

Visually defining the term "muffin top" without having to spell out why it's funny is the brilliant part of this spot. We've all seen them. Sometimes they're unattractive; but there's something strangely compelling about a girl squeezing into jeans that don't quite fit. That soft little roll squishing out from the tight suffocating denim. I want to pinch it, bite it, chew on it.

Overall, I don't know that it makes me want Lifesavers, and I barely even buy "it's good to be sweet." But muffin tops are great.

And the guy is tying fly lures? Huh.