Elizabeth Arden, Daytona 500 Cologne: F

When I saw this commercial--and I'm not even going to bother explaining what it is--I thought at first that maybe it was a joke. That perhaps the Daytona 500, in trying to appeal to a slightly more sophisticated audience, had created a satirical ad, juxtaposing race car driving and a fragrance to draw attention to itself. So to check, I Googled it. Low and behold, it is an actual cologne. And not just a cologne, it's after shave and shower gel.



Hmmmm, that makes sense. Let's take something known for it's traditional good-smellingness and brand some male hygiene products. Yes, the Daytona 500, home of such wonderful aromas as gasoline, burning rubber, sweaty fat redneck, half empty Natty Light cans stuffed with cigarette butts, and urine. That is definitely a smell you'd want to replicate and place on your face and body.

If the commercial had indeed been for the Daytona 500, I probably would have given it a B+ for being self-deprecating. But it's not. F. F for being a retarded product.