Parents as Anti-Drug -- Drug Dealer -- F

Holy smokes, what a colossal blunder this was. What is the logic behind having a drug dealer, who is kind of likable, tell you his business sucks? Before you jump on me, I get it, the message is to parents, that they should watch their medicine cabinets. But you know who else was watching the game? Kids. Kids who heard, "if you want to get high for free, quit paying your dope dealer, all you need are some of your parents' pills." I mean, maybe we should also have also told parents, "you should especially not leave OxyContin, Valium, Zanax, Adderall, and Vicodin lying around, because when you take those, you can get a really nice buzz." Why not pass out lists of prescription drugs at schools? That'd be about as effective. Whatever happened to showing a kid with brain damage from drug abuse or a mom crying at a kid's funeral? Stop trying to be so clever. A down on his luck drug dealer is not going to win the war on drugs, idiots. F.

The Hawk:
Ha, I liked it, of course. At least the first time. But I didn't pay full attention -- I thought it was just saying, "don't blame the drug dealer for your kids doing drugs, blame yourself". Seems like that would have been a good message. Still, maybe this will still open the eyes of some parents? But the Mouth may be right, and it may open the eyes of just as many kids. Hmm... I'm not a parent, nor have I done drugs, so I'm not even close to the target demographic here, so it's too close to call. I'm going to take the cop out and go with C.

Budweiser -- Rocky Clydesdale -- A+

While Bud Light was represented in several Super Bowl spots, Budweiser went with quality over quantity, and this might have been my favorite ad of the night. It's outstanding. Whereas Audi butchered an American classic, The Godfather, Budweiser took an American classic, Rocky, and stayed true to its spirit. The end result is commercial goodness. I sort of wished they hadn't had the dap scene at the end, but that's nit-picking. A+.

The Mouth:

Borrowed interest. Nice work, you thought of a commercial where a horse trains like Rocky. I know Budweiser is associated with those clydesdales, but in reality, I don't really care about that at all. In fact, I kind of hate those uppity horses with their wispy white hoof-hair. The horse commercial where the zebra is the referee set the bar pretty high and this doesn't even come close. Although I do like that they named the horse Hank. How can Hank compete with Thunder? C.

Dell / Red -- Guy In Streets With Laptop

The Mouth:
I like the song. And the effort by Dell to join the ranks of GAP and whoever else is participating in the (RED) program. But the Super Bowl is probably not the time to launch this campaign. It was a somewhat clever idea with the people all cheering him on as he walks through the street, but the concept seems to be almost lifted (with lamer results) from this old Starbucks ad. Very average. C.

The Hawk:
They try to show the product early, but I just thought he had a red notebook. I had no idea what was going on during most of the ad. Why is everyone cheering? What did this guy do? Even after seeing that he has that red laptop, I still don't see what the hullah bulloo is all about. Uninteresting. Uninspired. D.

Gatorade G2 -- Derek Jeter

The Mouth:
Blah blah blah. There's no part of me that wants to listen to Derek Jeter talk, and he yaps a bunch in this ad without really saying anything. G2 is Gatorade's answer to Vitamin Water, though I'm not sure you'd know it. They do state it's a low calorie off-field hydrator, but what that has to do with the lame baseball field appearing around him or why you'd want to drink it is a mystery. Remember, America is stupid. The only redeeming quality this spot has is Peyton Manning! Peyton! C.

The Hawk:
I on the other hand love Derek Jeter. He is the Tom Brady of baseball: Men (other than The Mouth) want to be him, and women want to be with them. The special effect baseball field is attempting to say that Gatorade is not just for on-the-field activities, it, especially it's new product, can be used in all aspects of life. I like it. It gets your attention, shows the new product, and then maybe you'll try it. B.